Change is challenging – not an understatement!
As your life changes, it requires that you adapt and adjust. You are uncertain of what to do or how to be comfortable in your new situation.
It is harder now
When you were young, you were constantly learning and changing. Adapting felt normal to you. You went from grade to grade, school to school. You may have had some growing pains, but it all seems like stages that were meant to happen.
Now change is more challenging. In mid-life you are accustomed to things as they have been. Transition means letting go of a known past and moving into an uncertain future. It is hard.
Mid-Life – A time of evaluation
Mid-life is a time when many people take stock and ask themselves what is working in their lives and what needs to change.
Perhaps the choices you made at an earlier stage are no longer working for you. Perhaps you are experiencing changes in your family, your health or your career.
Time and circumstances may have brought changes all by themselves or you may have made new choices about what is meaningful to you now.
Even good change creates stress
Whether you are facing unwelcome change, such as the loss of a loved one, or a change that is welcomed, such as new job, you are in transition. Something is new and different.
You must navigate a new path. It is not be easy to find your footing, leaving you unbalanced and unsure.
Mid-life transitions are common
Most people experience transitions in mid-life. Just when you think you have life figured out, it throws you a curve ball.
You lose a loved one, something about your job is different, you become an empty nester, or find yourself facing a divorce. Sometimes, transitions come in bundles.
Deborah’s* life was in shambles.
Deborah had been married 15 years when she learned that her husband had been having an affair. Their marriage had been troubled, but she had never thought she would be divorced.
When Deborah learned of her husband’s affair, she sought therapy out of desperation. At the beginning, she was totally overwhelmed by the news of her husband’s affair. She was not sleeping well and was barely eating.
Over and over Deborah replayed their life together. She wondered what had gone wrong and questioned if there was something she might have done differently. She imagined her husband with someone else and was filled with hurt and anger.
In therapy, Deborah gained control over her thoughts and emotions. With time, anger and despair were replaced with realistic optimism. She was able to move on and embrace the many additional transitions that were ahead.
When she was ready, Deborah moved to a new city, found a new job, and remarried. There were many adjustments along the way, but Deborah had left therapy with perspective and a toolbox of skills. She was up to the challenge.
Guidance and support make sense
When traveling to a new country, we often hire a guide to help us navigate. When hiking challenging terrain, we may choose to use walking sticks.
When life is changing, a sounding board with skills and processes to help you know yourself better can make all the difference.
In times of change, having the skills to calm, center and know yourself better can create the peace and clarity you want.
Reach out. There is no need to be alone on this journey.
Call me at (202) 258-7079 or complete the contact form. Let’s talk for a free 15-minute consultation.
*Deborah is a combination of many clients.